He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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