and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
