but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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