After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
