Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
