Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Your penis caused this!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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