he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Randomize
