I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
