I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
