Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize