There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
