you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
