Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
