Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
