She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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