How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
