plz talk dirty to me
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
me + whiskey = a bad person
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize