the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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