chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
