just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize