Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
