that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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