Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I am naked and annoyed.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
