Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
