Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
