He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
