Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
