I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
