Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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