My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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