honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
