the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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