i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
