every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
