I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
