actually, I'm a sock model
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
