No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
