hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
