If that was your dad, he is hot
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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