the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
