I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
