theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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