Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
so much tequila, so little girl.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
