New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
