wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
