i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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