This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
