ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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