He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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