i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
