I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
