just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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