I got chris browned last night
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
