Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
