did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
