She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
