Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
