i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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