who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
