sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
