there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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