I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
