i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wish you could order shots online.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize