This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
